couples therapy "with happy ending..."

▪ Don’t you want to bring out the best in each other instead of the worst..?

▪ Don’t you want your relationship to add value to your life rather than limit you..?

▪ Don’t you want to live in harmony and love with your partner instead of conflict and indifference..?

Of course that’s what you want. Unfortunately, that’s not always what you get. It gets even worse. These days, more and more relationships end in a flop instead of on top. Undeclared expectations and irreconcilable differences lead to unavoidable fights until we find ourselves all tangled up with ourselves and each other. And instead of unraveling the mess, we’d rather just break away from it. Not because we don’t want to sort things out, but simply because we don’t know how to. This is where we can help you, provide you with advice and hands-on support. Equipped with the right tools, you can get yourselves back together, both emotionally and physically. Unquestionably. So learn how to turn all that wasted energy and effort into something positive and constructive, allowing you to grow into the best you both can be! And learn to enjoy love again, enjoy live again, enjoy each other again.

InSightorOut offers a range of counseling services in both Holland and Italy. Sessions are possible In Dutch, English and Italian.

[ couples therapy | relationship therapy ]

[ love retreat ]

[ cheat retreat ]

[ skype therapy ]

[ expat coaching ]

[ single coaching ]

[ renew your vows ]

A relationship is nothing more than a mix of two distinct individuals and their unique connection. You can compare a destructive relationship with connecting the red wire with the black, causing a major short circuit and intense fights. InSightorOut takes an active and positive approach to addressing relationship problems. It will require both of you to be willing and open to critically assessing your own behaviours. You’ll need to dare owning up to the part you play if you want to better your relationship. And we would love to support you in your quest – and your battle!

We will break through negative behaviour patterns so you can reconnect. Everything we do is quick, to the point and tangible. No never-ending trajectories or endless therapy with us.

Hourly rate of € 120,- plus 21% VAT.

If it’s time to deal with overdue maintenance work or prevent further decline, the love retreat in Italy is perfect for you. Or if you want to bring closure to a difficult time or simply give the perfect love gift: step out of your daily routine to spice up your love and/or sex life, at a location that is so incredibly romantic, it won’t give you a choice but to fall in love with each other all over again. In addition to in-depth conversations, you will be able to enjoy the delicious Italian food, the beautiful wines and the stunning countryside. Relationship taxation combined with much needed relaxation! You will return home with unanticipated insights, some specific assignments to work on and revamped enthusiasm. Guaranteed..!

Already possible for € 800,- per couple plus 21% VAT. A love weekend at a magical Como Lake in Italy.

Leading a long-term double (sex) life, making a one-off slip or having a passionate crush on someone else. It often starts out harmlessly, it’s exciting and fun, but it usually ends badly and sadly. Cheating generally causes such heartbreaking pain and deep misery, it leaves couples clueless as to how they can deal with it constructively. The cheater usually wants to put it under the carpet as soon as possible, while the cheatee wants to discuss it repeatedly and at length. The cheater has to suffer their faithful partner’s uncontrolled fits of tears and anger, their endless accusations and questions and their need to control things, while there generally will be little space or understanding for their own potential doubts, their persistent crush or their own heartbreak.

When dealing with infidelity, it is paramount to work through all of the emotions, no matter how hard this may get: the anger, the fear your partner will leave you, the insecurity and the jealousy.

Moreover, there can be feelings of shame, regret or guilt to deal with, as well as the sadness over losing your (sex) buddy. Dealing with all of these emotions together may well make you come out stronger as a couple. Honestly!

Prices start at € 800,- per couple plus 21% VAT. Like the 'love retreat' 'the cheat retreat' is possible at the famous Lake of Como (Menaggio).

Although it may seem a little trendy and a little detached, Skype therapy has proven to be a great alternative to regular face-to-face sessions. The Skype approach has many benefits: no wait lists, no travel time and you can do a session in the comfort of your own place. No risk of running into anyone you know in the waiting room and no worries about child care.

Sessions are also available in the evenings or weekends. Using Skype, FaceTime or Google Hangouts three sessions will often be sufficient. Just one conversation usually already triggers some result. It’s a matter of diving right into the root cause of the issue and work it, individually, with tangible and achievable assignments.

Hourly rate of € 100,-/120,- plus 21% VAT.

Whether you’re in the Far East or the Wild West, living the expat life truly requires flexibility of body and mind. Everything is new and everything is different. You have to find your way, find new friends, learn a new language. Requiring tons of energy. Typically, one of you will be absorbed in their new job while the other has no job. With or without kids. Missing family and friends, getting used to your new surroundings, dealing with the many decisions you have to take and managing the pressure at work can put an enormous strain on your relationship and your family life.

We offer a therapy package that combines Skype sessions with email or phone support. Additional face-to-face sessions can be included as well, either in The Netherlands or in Italy. We will be available whenever you need someone to talk to, someone to run your thoughts by or for other psychological assistance.

Worries, doubts and insecurities: they can impede you in your work, your social life and most definitely your love life. Personal issues not only prevent you from finding the right partner, they prevent you from building a loving relationship. “If you don’t learn to love yourself, you won’t be happy with anyone else, not even with a perfect partner.”

We’d love to welcome you at the Keizergracht in Amsterdam. In one or more inspiring sessions, we will turn you 'InsightOut' – we will challenge you to reflect on what you really think, feel, want. Any blockers will be removed to allow you to really open up to love again, confidently and unconditionally. This is the only way for you to build and preserve a positive partnership. With yourself and with your companion.

Renewing your vows is a trend that seems to have blown over from the US. Celebrities like Will Smith, Tori Spelling, Kate Moss and Jennifer Lopez have all (re)walked this aisle. With all the usual bells and whistles. Renewing your vows doesn’t need to be done US style, dramatic and grand and completely over the top. It can be a little more modest and intimate – a little more Dutch style. We can offer you an authentic way to (re)celebrate and (re)seal your love for each other. In the romantic Italian countryside. We will welcome you to renew your vows in one of the most stunning chapels in the magical Lago d’Orta or Lago di Como offering you an informal and yet meaningful ceremony. Just the two of you, or in the company of your children, close family and friends. Anything is possible!

Starting at € 795.- plus 21% VAT. One nights' accommodation, four course dinner, breakfast and of course a beautiful, personalized ceremony with relationship therapist Blanca included. Possible in the Italian Alpes and Lake Como.

[ couples therapy ]

[ love retreat ]

[ cheat retreat ]

[ skype therapy ]

[ expat coaching ]

[ single coaching ]

[ renew your vows ]

[ blanca van den brand ]

InSightorOut is an initiative set up by the famous Dutch couples therapist Blanca van den Brand. Blanca has a degree in Social Psychology from the University of Amsterdam, specializing in Social Sexology. After graduating, she travelled to Hawaii to do an apprenticeship with one of the world’s most famous social sexologists, Elaine Hatfield. Appalled by the ‘American way’ of counseling, Blanca decided to do things her own way and travelled around the world to develop her own positive-constructive approach, based on her own (un)common sense and ideas.

Her insights on love, relationships and sex are imaginatively presented in her books ‘De Liefde Bedrijven’ (making love with your cloth on) and ’69. De Kunst van het Beminnen’ (69. the art of loving), which put loving relationships as a basis for a satisfying sex life at the centre. She strongly believes a ‘five-star’ sex life will grow from a ‘five-star’ love life. Dutch and Belgian media have aptly named her the ‘vicar in stilettos’. Blanca makes regular appearances on [ TV ] and radio and she writes about sex, love and relationship issues for a number of newspapers and magazines.

[ italy ]

Together with her beloved husband Raymond, Blanca decided to head South and enjoy La Dolce Vita for a while. They picked the beautiful Lake of Como in Northern Italy, about 1 hour from Milan, where they now spend most of their time, together with their three children.

Before coming to Como they lived a few years in the Italian Alps, in lovely Alagna. They loved living there and spending time in Val d'Otro. This valley is a hidden gem in the Alps were time has stopped. Instantly smitten with their new spot, they decided to share it with others. Raymond was -back then- working as a family doctor in the village and also as an alpine doctor. In addition to his medical practice, he began organising mountain expeditions (see www.otro-elements.it for further details). Now they are proud owners of their own back-to-basic Mountain Retreat Centre "Alpe Selvaccia". Sticking to their motto ‘casa mia e casa tua’, they would love to welcome you in their ‘second’ home. At lake Como for lessons in love, at Alpe Selvaccia for a back-to-nature expedition with Raymond.

If you are interested or have any questions, please contact Blanca directly at blanca@InSightorOut.nl. feel free to write in English, Italian or Dutch..!